A Light In The World
A Light In The World
#79. The Healing Journey: Embracing Therapy and Personal Growth
Venturing further, we navigate the digital landscape in search of the perfect therapist, harnessing resources like Psychology Today, which offers a beacon of hope with its comprehensive filtering options. I recount my own battles with panic attacks, baring the scars of past struggles to illustrate the growth that emerges from pushing past discomfort. The episode is a tribute, not just to my journey, but to the bravery in all of us who take the leap into therapy, and to the remarkable transformations that await on the other side of trauma. We celebrate the art of overcoming, the joy of self-acceptance, and the blossoming of life's beauty, as seen through the lens of persevering in therapy. Join us for an episode that promises to touch your heart and perhaps, set you on the trail to your own healing.
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Welcome everyone to Light in the World. I am your host, george Angel Ramirez. Thank you for tuning in to this episode. Join me on this journey to spread more love and kindness into this beautiful world of ours. How's it going everyone? Hopefully you guys are having a great morning so far. Hopefully everything in your life is going good. Life is going great for me. Man, I can't complain.
Speaker 1:It's been an eventful two weeks Bought a new camera for the podcast so hopefully I'll start producing more content for social media and just trying to grow this podcast overall. That's kind of my goal that I have set forward to the future or whatnot. Everything's going to happen the way it needs to. I actually talked to someone about the podcast kind of getting help a little bit more with the social media aspect of things and we'll see how things go. Man, we'll see and I'm excited the media aspect of things and we'll see how things go. Man, we'll see and I'm excited and I'm just excited to start producing more content for this to try to actually grow this podcast.
Speaker 1:I've had this podcast now for about two years and I know I always talk about that almost in every episode, but it's about time. It's about time to start doing something and trying to make it a little bit more professional and, you know, just start doing more stuff with the podcast. So that's kind of that's kind of it. That's kind of it that's been going on. I'm really excited about this new camera, really excited to see what comes out of it. It's an amazing camera about a sony zv e10 I believe that's what it's called um I keep forgetting the name, but did a lot of research into it and a good price just kind of came up. So I'm really, really excited for that. So I'm gonna going to start posting more on TikTok and just to grow.
Speaker 1:And the reason why I'm emphasizing this movement or this growth for this podcast is because the people deserve it. It's not so much about, oh, having a big podcast or, you know, for bragging rights. It's more for the people that have been on this podcast and the people that will be on this podcast, and even the stories that I share as well too. People deserve to hear them, people deserve to get some help, people deserve to have hope, because, at the end of the day, that's what we need. We need these stories to be out, and the people need the stories to come out, and people deserve to have that sense of hope, because that's what this podcast is about Trying to be that little light into the world. So so people know that not all is lost, even though, despite despite what's going on in the world around us, it's going to be okay. And you know we're going. We're going to get through this together as well too. So life is good, cannot complain Not really too much going on in terms of, you know, my personal life, but life is going good. Man, I can't complain.
Speaker 1:I have a pretty topic, a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I'm sure you guys have heard this a lot, but I'm going to be talking about therapy, and the reason why I want to talk about therapy is because I always recommend therapy to people. I always emphasize that people a lot of times, the majority of people do need therapy, and I always tell people like, hey, therapy is always an option. It was an option that really, really helped me in my life. It's something that I always tell people. I always tell people my story, because sometimes that's what people need to hear, and I understand that everybody's going to accept that offer, or how would I say? What's a better word? Sometimes not everybody is going to go to therapy because of the how would I say what's a better word? Sometimes not everybody is is is gonna go to therapy because you know, uh, because of the story that I say.
Speaker 1:But every once in a while I have a really good friend of mine that was just going through really tough time and he started going to therapy and I can see the difference in him. I can see the huge, huge difference at therapy, even in the short amount of time that he started going to that, that the short difference it made in his life. So he's all about it. He knows now what I went through, because when I started going to therapy, I started telling him this was about two years ago when I started going and I told him about it. He always heard about me going, and now he unfortunately he had to go through what he had to go through. But now he understands how big of a impact it's going to make in his life as well too. So that's why I always talk about therapy, because it can make a huge impact in and it made a huge impact in my life and it can make a huge impact in your life. But what I want to talk about is not so much a therapy itself, but kind of those beginning moments. You, this episode is more designed for people that either have just started therapy or are considering therapy, and that's what this is about. That's what this episode is about. It's designed specifically for those people.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be talking about some of the things I wish I would have known about therapy, talking about some of the things I wish I would have known about therapy and how it can become more effective, as long as you're willing to kind of put these things into practice as well, too. So let's begin. So in terms of one thing that I feel, like with therapy, like with therapy, I was all in just because I got to a point in my life where I needed it. I needed something. I needed something to be effective. I needed something to help me with all the, with my depression and the anxiety that I was going through. It was getting to a point where it was getting really bad. I was getting panic attacks at work. I was getting panic attacks driving home. I was getting panic attacks in my own place, in my own place that I was living at, a place that I thought was safe. It was, but I was just so in my mind that it got to a point where it was just getting too bad, to the point where sometimes I couldn't sleep, sometimes I would just overthink way too much and it was becoming overwhelming. And that's when I knew I needed help. And I was lucky where I had my brother in my life, where he was getting therapy and he was talking about it and he was talking about how effective and helpful it was for him. So I was like you know what, if it's helping my brother, it's going to help me.
Speaker 1:So, um, one of the things I not that I wish I knew, but that I understand now is how therapy made me a better person. In all reality, I can sit down here today and tell you therapy made me a completely different person, a completely different person, and it helped me out tremendously. In a way where I look back Sometimes I just kind of sit down, gather my thoughts and I was like, wow, you know I I was in points in my life where I was in extremely good shape, you know, when I was fighting. Or there was times where in military school, where it seemed like just life was going really good. Or there was times in my life where, you know, I was in a relationship and I'm like, wow, I'm doing so good, everything is going good. But now I can sit here and say therapy has made my life so much better, it's made me a completely better person. Of course, I still have my struggles, the things that I struggle, you know, time to time, but that's okay way. And if you would have told me when, when I was going through my depression and my anxiety, that this is the outcome that would have, this is the outcome, I would have been like there's no way. There's no way because I'm struggling so bad that there's no way that I can think of myself where I can enjoy life, where I can enjoy the simple things, where I can sit here and say I'm trying to be a better person. There's no way that these things are going to happen, but it has.
Speaker 1:The thing is I was willing and that was a big big thing that came to my life where I was willing, not because I really wanted to, but because I needed it to happen in my life. You know that willingness really came early on in my therapy and I know not everybody goes through that. I know sometimes people don't find the right therapist. But you know I'll be talking about that later. But it got to a point where I was like, wow, this is really my first therapy session really helped out a lot. I was like, wow, yeah, I'm going to keep on coming. I'm definitely going to keep on coming because this is helpful, but I was willing. It got to a point where I was like I need something to happen in my life. I need something positive to happen in my life. I don't want to block anything out with with drugs, or I don't want to block anything out with alcohol or find something else that's just going to put a bandaid over the problems that I was dealing with, and I need something to be long lasting and effective. And that's really what therapy was.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to be talking about three things that I I would tell my younger self. I would tell my younger self you know my younger self when, when, starting to go to therapy. So the first thing I would tell myself is well, I guess I did that already, but I guess this is for other people. This first tip is kind of for other people. That and the reason why it's not to like brag, no, it's just because my brother was the one that told me hey, go on this specific website, it's going to help you out. But one of the things I always tell people is first thing, before you even start therapy, is, do some research on your therapist. Make sure that you get some really, really good research on your therapist, because that's going to be very, very important, because that's going to be very, very important. So I'm actually going to go on this website before. Hold up, give me one second. Heard a lot of the times that ends up happening to a lot of people is a lot of the times people end up switching therapists, or a lot of times, yeah, people end up switching therapists or they end up stopping therapy because of the type of therapist that they may have. So one of the biggest things is doing some research on your therapist, doing some general research, looking at their bio or whatnot.
Speaker 1:A really good website that I'll put down below is this is the website I personally use. It was a website that helped me out a lot was Psychology Today. The good thing about Psychology Today is you can find therapists in your specific area. I'm not sponsored by them, but this is just the website that I use by them. But this is just the website that I used, so I'm already here on psychology today and um, you can put in wherever it is that you're, you know wherever it is that you live. So the good thing about psychology today is there's filters and those filters you can personalize your own therapist. So, for example, let's just put uh, I'm here on on the filter, so there's popular filters, right? So a lot of the times, this is what people are searching up right now Currently is ADHD, anxiety, black and African couple counseling, depression, emdr I don't know what that is Marriage counseling, teen trauma and PTSD. So you know, if that's like a popular filter that you choose, that's good enough.
Speaker 1:I recommend looking at the specialties just so you can get as much as you can. So now you have show only therapists who are female, male, non binary, in person or online. I I always recommend in person. I know not everybody can get in person therapy, but I always recommend in person just because you want to. That in person connection does a lot. You'd be surprised and what what that can do. You know just talking to a person in in person. You know talking to someone in person it can do, it does a lot. You build that relationship or you build that, that trust with somebody, and it's always really, really good. I've always been, I've always just been really big on that. I know not everybody's like that Um, but I always recommend it to people. So you know, you choose. So here I'm going to choose male Um, I'm going to see a therapist who's a male um, a specialty. So I'll get into this a little bit later.
Speaker 1:But you know, therapists there's a bunch of. There's a bunch of specialties for them. You know they have different. There's therapists that specialize in a whole bunch of different stuff. So I remember when I was searching up my uh, therapist anxiety, that was one of the first ones that I searched up. Adhd was, you know, I have ADHD. That was another big one that I ended up searching up. But there's a whole bunch of different ones. Obviously there's ADHD anxiety. There's addiction, anger management, bipolar depression. That was another one that I chose. I'm going to click on that one.
Speaker 1:And you know there's grief, there's domestic abuse, there's drug abuse, there's self harming, racially identify, identity, identity sorry psychosis, sports, perform sports, performance, gambling, sexual abuse, transgender adoption, marriage, counseling, alcohol use, alzheimer's. You know there's a whole bunch of different specialties that therapists that they specialize in. So it's always good to to pinpoint exactly. You know what. What's. What do you need therapy for? You know, are you hoarding? Are you having an addiction with gambling? You know, are you. Do you want someone that specializes in first responders, relationship issues, self esteem, sex therapy? You know it's, it's the best thing to use for that. Actually, you know what I might as well say it now it's. You know the reason why there's different specialties.
Speaker 1:It's I love using this analogy right, you're not going to go to a foot, you're not going to go to a foot doctor for something that's wrong with your nose, right? Even though that that foot doctor has knowledge on the nose. You know, uh, what was I going to say? I was, I was kind of brainstorming earlier. But uh, yes, you know, a foot doctor has education on on the nose. You know, he knows the bones and the different muscles and tissues and whatnot that are in the nose. But that person is best suited for the feet, right? You want to go to a nose doctor for your nose, right? And that's the same thing with therapists. They specialize with therapists. They specialize, they have a whole bunch of different specialties that they do more research on or whatever goes on. That in terms of that academic field type of thing. I don't know how any of that goes. But right, they go on to their own specialties as well too, and I'm just talking about therapists.
Speaker 1:I'm not too familiar with psychiatrists or counselors, just because I don't know, I didn't, I never had to go to, didn't, I never had to go to a counselor, or I never had to go to a psychiatrist. Obviously, from what I understand, a counselor is not really a therapist. They do have some sort of education, but it's not to the extent of a therapist and a psychiatrist From what I remember. I may be wrong, I'm sorry if I am, but they do more with, like you know, medication and stuff like that. There's nothing wrong with that. That's what you feel that you need, obviously go to one of those, but I'm just talking about my experience with a, with um, with a therapist.
Speaker 1:So now that I got all my filters, the good thing about uh, psychology today is they have insurance as well too. That was one of the biggest things for me, because I was under my mother's insurance during that time. So I ended up choosing Aetna because that's what my mother had. And therapists are expensive, right, I want to make sure that I get effective treatment at the end of the day. And then they have different types of therapy, right, you have acceptance and commitment. You have acceptance and uh and commitment.
Speaker 1:Um, looking at the other ones, uh, you know, family therapy, brain spotting, christian counseling, coaching Um, trying to see the other ones here, I've, you know, I've never, I didn't choose any of these just because I, you know, I, I don't. I think this is I don't know if this is something new, but I didn't end up doing it. I'm trying to see something that I'm kind of familiar with Music therapy, trauma-focused, strength-based somatic sand play I don't know what sand play is Dance, movement therapy, emdr, emotionally focused energy, psychology, cognitive processing, cognitive behavior. These are different styles or different types of therapy from you know my understanding Jungian, here right now. Here there's age, the different ages toddlers, child, preteen, teen, adults, elders.
Speaker 1:Ethnicity I know that's a big one for people as well, too. You know you have Hispanic, latino, black and African, native American, so on, so forth. Sexuality lesbian, lgbtq, bisexual. Language obviously that's a big one as well, too. Faith that's a big one for people as well too. Christian, buddhist, hindu, jewish, muslim, you know, secular, non-religious. I'm sure that's going to be a big one for people. And then price right. So now I got all these. I have all these chosen.
Speaker 1:You know, let me look at a therapist right here. So there's Michael Owens, right, this is one one therapist that came up, clinical social work therapist. So one of the things, one of the good things, is they have a bio. They have a real. You know, these people have bio. So this one, he all the things that I've chose, you know male depression, anxiety, adhd, aetna uh, you know that that he has all the things that I've, I've chosen. So you know, you can read the bio and that's a really, really good way to. And he has the price as well too. That's a really really good way to kind of get an understanding of who you're going to invest this this time and money to. So that's a really, really big thing Doing some research on the person that you're going to talk to, the therapist or whoever it is that you're going to want to seek help from as well too.
Speaker 1:Another big thing as well. To another tip that I that I tell people is a lot of the times, and it's understandable, I completely understand, but a lot of the times, what I end up hearing is how can I trust someone I don't know right? That's completely understandable. Maybe there's some trauma or maybe there's some things that happen that you may not trust people. That's like I said, that's completely understandable. Or a lot of the times, what ends up happening is people go to therapy and they don't say everything that's going on in their life or what's bothering them or the trauma they may have had because of guilt or shame that they may have. You're not going to get that effective help, you're not going to get that effective therapy from your therapist. And it's really big.
Speaker 1:I try to tell people is, if you're going to therapy, just share everything. Share everything that's going on, even if it's shameful or you may feel guilty or you may feel. You know, whatever way you may feel, try to tell them everything because it, in the long run, it's going to be more effective. One of the things is why I tell people this is because you you're going to see a huge difference when you let all of that out. You know I'm not going to lie, I know not everybody does this, but when I first went to my therapist, I let everything out and it wasn't.
Speaker 1:It almost felt like it wasn't even me talking. It felt like that, that, that inside of me, that that that I don't know how to describe it that you know something inside of me just let all of this, all of it, everything that was going on, it just came out. I was even surprised you know that that first, pretty much hour that I saw my therapist and I let everything out and I was like, wow, I can't believe that, that I let everything out. You know, I know not everybody's going to do that, but I was surprised because I needed all of that to come out. I needed it. Why? Because I knew it was going to help me.
Speaker 1:I knew that there's no reason that I'm going to hide anything. There's no reason for me to hide anything, because if I hide something, it's not going to be as effective as well too. And that's the thing is. You learn to start building that relationship or that trust with your therapist and relationship is the wrong word, trust is the word that I was trying to trying to use but you build that trust. You build that trust and when you shift your mindset to the point where you start to think that how would I word this a little bit better.
Speaker 1:When you shift your mindset in a way where you let your brain say this person isn't here to judge me, this person is here to help me. When you shift your mindset to that, that's when your therapy starts becoming more effective and you're going to see better results in it as well too, and it's going to make a huge, huge difference and you getting better, you overcoming the trauma or whatever it is that is hurting you or that's inside of you it's going to make a huge, huge difference. So that's one of the things I love telling people, because it just it happened so naturally for me. I know that's not going to be for everybody, but it happened so naturally. So when you shift your mindset to that therapy for you, it's going to become a lot better as well too. Your mindset to that therapy for you is going to become a lot better as well, too. Kind of the last thing I wanted to say, or the last kind of tip I wanted to give, is I guess I gave it a little bit earlier, but you know, obviously there's different types of therapists as well too. But last type of tip I want to give to to you guys is staying consistent, right, right. That seems like it's something that's kind of obvious.
Speaker 1:Eventually you're going to get to a point where it feels almost like, okay, I'm good, I'm fine. When you get to those moments where you start to feel, okay, go a little bit more, go a little bit more and to make sure you're absolutely sure that you don't need it, you know, eventually you're going to get to a point where you don't really need therapy, everything is fine. You have all the tools and resources to combat everyday life. You know, one of the big things was I was getting panic attacks and I didn't know how to control them or if they were starting to come, I didn't know what to do. So it got to a point where, when I started getting those panic attacks, I knew how to control them. I knew that I was going to be okay. I knew that even though I may feel like I'm getting a panic attack, or even if I do get a panic attack, I knew how to control myself. I knew how to calm myself down to a point now where sometimes they kind of, they kind of come. But you know what? I don't let it get to me anymore when I have, when I feel like I'm starting in a panic, like I'm going to get a panic attack. It's something I can control now too.
Speaker 1:So, but I got to a point with therapy where I I didn't really need it anymore. You know, I didn't really need to talk about some of the things that I talked to and a lot of that trauma that I had. I've learned to love myself in a non-egotistical way. I learned to accept myself. I understand now that I still have my problems, but you know what it's okay. It's okay. These problems that I made out to be. They're not as bad as I thought they were. They're manageable now too. But it took a while. I don out to be they're not as bad as I thought they were. They're manageable now too. So, but it took. It took a while.
Speaker 1:I don't remember exactly the timeframe. Obviously, for everybody it's going to be completely different. So you know it depends. Some people need longer, some people may need a shorter amount of time. It all depends. It all depends.
Speaker 1:But being willing is one of the biggest, biggest things. To start, am I willing to get better? And I know it's hard for everybody. I know it may be hard for some people to just be willing to commit to therapy, but being consistent is a really, really big thing. There were some times where I didn't really want to go. I was like, oh, I don't really want to go to therapy, I don't want to talk to my therapist, but I went and some of those sessions were one of the best sessions I've ever had, just because it's like the gym. You know, sometimes you don't want to go to the gym and you're like, ah, I'd rather just not go and you know whatever. But then you end up going and next thing you know, you had a really, really good gym session. That's the same thing with therapy as well, too. Um, you feel like you may not want to go and you're like, ah, no, you know, I'll just tell them I'll go next week, or something like that. Go, just go. And you'd be surprised in the results that you'll see in your life. And that's the thing is, you're going to be a better person.
Speaker 1:All those things that are bothering you are all those things that that you thought were a big deal. You'll learn how to control them. You'll learn how to be okay. You'll start to understand that it was worth it all along. Putting yourself first was worth it, and putting yourself to to get some help was worth it. That it's it's a brave thing. It's a brave thing that goes to somebody and tell them hey, this is what's going on in my life, this is what's happening. These are the things that are bothering me. This is the things. These are the thoughts that hurt really, really bad, and I don't know what to do about them. So you being put in a vulnerable position is not an easy thing, but it's okay.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we need that. Sometimes we need someone else to tell us it's going to be okay. And yeah, sometimes you may need it from a friend or you may need it from a family member, but sometimes there's people out there that just go get help. The best decision, if anything, the best decision in my life was to go get help, and I'm so happy for myself. I'm so, so happy for myself why? Because I look at myself back then and I look at myself now.
Speaker 1:Even though I had amazing moments back then, I look at myself now and some of those moments they're worth it. They're worth it. Even though I had to go through everything that I had to go through. It was completely worth it and I would never change a thing about it. I'm extremely grateful for the person that helped me. I still keep in contact with him till this day and he was just a blessing in my life and in all reality. He made me realize that life is beautiful. He made me realize that it's worth it to try to change this world for the better. It's worth it, I'm worth it, you're worth it, we're all worth it. That's all I have for today, guys. I love you. Guys. I'll talk to you guys later. Take care Bye.
